I was a key that could use a little turning

I been there, man...

So, if you're late to the party, here we are exegetin' the songs, one by one, on Soul Asylum's Grave Dancer's Union record, one of the shining gems of the 90s. Up next? Runaway Train. A really easy one. In fact, it's the hit I heard that prodded me to buy the album. I could tell right away it was a prayer… 

Back in the nineties I was kinda slack about following music trends, so it was a miracle that I managed to stumble over some stuff I liked. It was just one of the mysteries of providence that I met Soul Asylum (figuratively speaking, of course) through this song, and then the whole album just happened to be a rockin' church service of a record. So here goes... (Click on the title to hear the song/see the video)

Runaway Train

Call you up in the middle of the night
like a firefly without a light
you were there like a blowtorch burning
i was a key that could use a little turning
so tired that i couldn't even sleep
so many secrets i couldn't keep
promised myself i wouldn't weep
one more promise i couldn't keep

it seems no one can help me now
i'm in too deep 

there's no way out
this time i have really lead myself astray

runaway train, never goin' back
wrong way on a one-way track
seems like i should be getting somewhere
somehow i'm neither here nor there 

can you help me remember how to smile?
make it somehow all seem worthwhile
how on earth did i get so jaded?
life's mysteries seem so faded
i can go where no one else can go
i know what no one else knows
here i am just drownin' in the rain
with a ticket for a runaway train

and everything seems cut and dry
day and night 

earth and sky
somehow i just don't believe it 

runaway train, never goin' back
wrong way on a one-way track
seems like i should be getting somewhere
somehow i'm neither here nor there 

bought a ticket for a runaway train
like a madman laughing at the rain
little out of touch, little insane
it's just easier than dealing with the pain 

runaway train, never goin' back
wrong way on a one-way track
seems like i should be getting somewhere
somehow i'm neither here nor there 

runaway train, never comin' back
runaway train, tearin' up the track
runaway train, burnin' in my veins
i run away but it always seems the same

A Soul Asylum selfie

The song stands on its own as a sort of public service announcement, calling attention to the problems of runaway and missing children, and the abuse that can produce them. The accompanying video features actual missing children and a phone number for people to call if they are a runaway kid or have seen one. According to the song's Wikipedia page, some kids were helped. On the other hand, some may have been hurt… by being placed back in abusive situations. The band meant well, of course – and for such a serious and widespread problem, there is no easy answer. 

When I heard the song, I heard a heart-cry for rescue, relief and change of direction. It's about a person – we'll call her Julie – who has hit, or is plummeting speedily toward, what is commonly called, "rock bottom." That is to say, the lowest point she can possibly reach. Maybe she's suffering a soul-killing breakup and is on the verge of anorexic starvation… In this and hundreds of stories I've heard from recovering addicts and alcoholics, this hard, crunchy place is often the launching pad for change... which begins with asking for help from God above. (In AA I think they refer to a "Higher Power"... the One she cries out to is God, the Father of Jesus.)

And so it is that she, singing this song, recognizes that she repeatedly heads in the wrong direction, and can't figure out how to get turned around: "it seems no one can help me now / i'm in too deep / there's no way out / this time i have really lead myself astray… She knows it's crazy ("like a madman laughing at the rain / little out of touch / little insane") but she just can't seem to correct her course. Her pain is too great, and it's the only way she knows. 

Our hypothetical person might have
looked something like this. Sure she's
smiling for the camera, but she's going
the wrong way on a one-way track.

And yet… from this seriously dark, difficult place, she manages to eke out a cry to God for light and help, as it says in the first verse: "Call you up in the middle of the night like a firefly without a light / you were there like a blowtorch burning / i was a key that could use a little turning." She feels helpless, hopeless and worn out, ("everything seems cut and dry / day and night / earth and sky / somehow i just don't believe it.") But she somehow has the wherewithal to ask for help and hope: "Can you help me remember how to smile? Make it somehow all seem worthwhile…" she prays. 

Since all of this is completely theoretical, we have no way of knowing what happened to the "Julie" in our hypothesis. Except we do. She found, as the Prodigal Son did in Luke 15, that despite the minuscule amount of hope that she had, her Father turned the key and reversed the direction of the train... to bring her home. 

The Prodigal Son went home too.

She couldn't do it herself, but she did use her failing voice to call out to Him – and even that wasn't easy. She had to swallow her pride and ask again and again for His help. The work of recovery is grueling, but it was HE who was doing it... and the more she stayed out of the way, the faster it went. 

But that work order she turned in... the first prayer that began it all... it seemed to come out of nowhere... I guess you could say it was one of life's unfaded mysteries…